You’re Not Underachieving — You’re Just Believing a Thought That Says You Are
You’re Not Underachieving | Jo Renshaw Life Coach, Brighton
The Secret Thought So Many High-Achieving Women Have
You’ve built a career, kept a family going, and handled more than most people could imagine, and yet some days you look at your life and think, “I should be further along by now.”
That thought, “I’m underachieving”, can feel so true, especially when you compare yourself to others who seem to be moving faster, earning more, or doing life “better.” But what if that thought, not your circumstances, is what’s actually holding you back?
In this blog, you’ll learn:
Why “I’m underachieving” is one of the most common thoughts among successful women and why it feels so believable.
How The Model (the powerful tool I use in coaching) reveals exactly how this belief keeps you stuck.
How to shift from self-judgment to self-belief, so you can create real results, without the constant pressure to prove yourself.
By the end, you’ll see that you’re not underachieving at all. You’re simply caught in a thought loop that can be changed and once you learn how, everything else starts to change too.
Why ‘I’m Underachieving’ Feels So True
The comparison trap
Smart, capable women often measure their worth against invisible benchmarks; the next promotion, a perfect home, an ideal body, or what their peers seem to have already achieved.
Jacqui, a client in her early sixties, came to coaching feeling she was “falling behind” professionally, even though she was healthy, respected, and financially secure. Her brain compared her to younger colleagues and decided she wasn’t doing enough so the thought “I’m underachieving” took hold.
When self-criticism masquerades as self-awareness
For many high-achievers, being hard on themselves feels responsible, almost virtuous.
But here’s the truth: self-attack doesn’t create improvement; it creates paralysis.
You can’t grow from a place of shame. The more we tell ourselves we’re underperforming, the smaller we play.
The Coaching Conversation — Seeing It for What It Really Is
When I asked Jacqui how it felt to think “I’m underachieving,” she said, “Small — like I’m shrinking.”
We explored what she did when she felt that way:
“I procrastinate. I compare myself to others. I don’t take care of my home or my finances because I feel like, what’s the point?”
And what result did that create?
“I actually underachieve,” she said quietly.
That was the lightbulb moment.
She wasn’t underachieving because of her job, her age, or her circumstance, she was underachieving because she was thinking she was.
How The Model Reveals the Truth
The five parts of The Model
Circumstance → Thought → Feeling → Action → Result
Here’s how it looked in Jacqui’s session:
Circumstance: Jacqui, 61, employed and in good health.
Thought: “I’m underachieving.”
Feeling: Small, defeated.
Action: Procrastinates, compares, avoids.
Result: Creates more underachievement — proving the original thought true.
Our brains are brilliant at gathering evidence to support whatever we already believe. If we think we’re underachieving, we’ll unconsciously behave in ways that reinforce that story.
The Model shows us this clearly: our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings drive our actions, and our actions create our results. Once you see that, you can stop trying to fix the circumstances of your life and start changing the cause — your thinking.
Why Changing Circumstances Doesn’t Work
Most people try to escape “underachievement” by changing their external world — applying for a new job, signing up for a course, reorganising their calendar.
Those things can help, but only if they’re fuelled by clean, supportive thinking.
Otherwise, you simply recreate the same pattern in a new place.
As I told Jacqui:
“Until you change the thought driving the result, you’ll keep getting the same outcome, just with different scenery.”
How to Change the Thought ‘I’m Underachieving’
Step 1 – Get awareness
Notice when your brain offers you the thought “I’m underachieving.”
Pause. Breathe. Ask yourself how it feels in your body — heavy? tight? shrinking? Awareness alone begins to dissolve its power.
Step 2 – Question it with curiosity
Ask:
“Would everyone agree this is true?” (If not, it’s a thought, not a fact.)
“Is this thought helping me become who I want to be?”
“What else could be true right now?”
Step 3 – Choose an intentional thought
Jacqui’s new thought became her mantra:
“If anyone can, I can.”
This single shift changed her energy completely.
Instead of shrinking, she expanded. Instead of judging herself, she became curious and creative.
You can borrow her belief: every time your mind whispers “I’m underachieving,” answer with “If anyone can, I can.”
See what happens when you move from criticism to capability.
What Success Really Looks Like
Success isn’t the absence of failure — it’s the ability to have your own back through it.
Jacqui is now practising what I call “failing with grace”: making decisions, testing ideas, and learning without turning every misstep into proof she’s not enough.
She’s becoming the woman who thinks, acts, and earns like her future self — not because she’s done everything perfectly, but because she’s thinking differently about what success really means.
You don’t become confident and then take action; you take action from confidence.
And confidence comes from choosing thoughts that serve you.
Key Takeaway
“You are not underachieving. You are simply creating results from a thought that says you are.”
When you learn to separate facts from thoughts, you take back your power.
The Model gives you that awareness — a simple, beautiful framework that lets you design your results on purpose.
Change your thoughts, and you change everything.
Book a Free Discovery Call
If you recognise yourself in Jacqui’s story — if you’ve achieved so much and still feel like it’s not enough — I can help you change that.
Join me for a free one-hour Discovery Call.
I’ll take you through my Life Audit Process and show you the top five things we can work on together to move you from self-criticism to calm, capable confidence.
You’ll leave with clarity, direction, and renewed belief in yourself.
Book your free Discovery Call today ➜
This blog is inspired by the work I do with my clients during sessions, and brought to you in partnership with AI.
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