From Overwhelm to Ownership: How One Client Transformed Her Mornings, and Her Life
From Overwhelm to Ownership | Jo Renshaw Life Coach, Brighton
Let me tell you about Rachel. When we first started working together, she described her mornings as chaotic: hitting snooze, rushing through breakfast, mentally already behind. Like many of the women I coach, she was bright, successful, and exhausted by her own pace. Every day felt reactive instead of intentional.
One day she decided something had to change. Nothing dramatic, just a single morning where she wanted to feel in charge again. She told herself she would get up early and go for a short run before the house woke up. It wasn’t about mileage; it was about momentum.
When she came to our session later that week, she said, “Jo, I did it. I went for a run and actually did what I said I’d do.” And the pride in her voice was the first sign of transformation.
As we unpacked it, she realised it wasn’t motivation or luck, it was a series of small, deliberate steps she’d taken the night before and that morning. I drew it out for her, showing her that she had followed a repeatable pattern, a framework I now call DPFAF: Decide, Prep, Fuel, Allow, Feel.
Here’s what she’d done:
She told herself she was going to run. The decision was made the night before.
She laid out her running clothes, prepping for Future Rachel.
She fuelled herself in the morning - protein bar, water, the basics.
She allowed the urge to quit halfway through, reminding herself how good it would feel later.
And she generated that feeling of pride on purpose, by imagining herself in the future result of having accomplished her run.
We talked about how this fits with the motivational triad we’d been exploring: the brain’s instinct to avoid pain, seek comfort, and conserve energy. Rachel had done the opposite, she’d moved toward discomfort on purpose, delayed gratification, and taken massive action. That’s rewiring the brain in action, where real change begins.
This is what the DPFAF process does. It helps you stop scrambling through your day and start leading it, with calm capability.
Now let me show you what those five steps look like, and how you can use them in any situation where you want to feel steady, focused, and in charge.
The Five Steps That Move You From Overwhelm to Ownership
Step 1 — Decide in Advance
This isn’t about trying to summon up motivation. It’s about removing the conversation from your morning, where the brain wants to negotiate about what to do. The “let’s go for a run vs let’s go back to bed” debate. You decide what you're doing the night before, not when you're tired, distracted, or scrolling.
This is the first break in the motivational triad. You stop avoiding discomfort and you plan to walk into it.
Rachel made her decision (the latin decidere means, to cut off all other options) the night before: “I’m going for a run.” Simple. Done. No back and forth in the morning.
Step 2 — Prep Future You
Prep is love. You’re saying to your future self, “I’ve got you.”
Rachel laid out her clothes. It sounds basic, but it’s game-changing. The fewer barriers between you and the action, the more likely you are to do it. This is about reducing friction and making success easy to start.
Step 3 — Fuel (Body + Brain)
Fuel isn’t just food. It’s hydration, sleep, and most importantly thoughts you choose.
Rachel had a protein bar and water. But she also had a mindset that said: “I want the after-feeling more than I want the comfort of stopping.” “I can do this” “I’m doing this”
Fuel your body and your thinking.
Step 4 — Allow the Urge to Quit
This is where most people give up. That moment of discomfort hits, and the brain screams: “Stop!” But discomfort isn’t a problem. It’s part of the plan.
Even as Rachel was pulling on her shoes her brain wanted to stop. But she didn’t. Why? Because she imagined how she’d feel later. That’s delaying gratification in real time and it's how you rewire your brain for capability.
Step 5 — Generate Feelings on Purpose, and imagine the Future
You don’t have to wait for confidence or calm to magically appear. You can generate it. Rachel visualised herself running her last mile feeling the pride she knew she’d have after. She chose and generated that feeling on purpose by thinking thoughts that created that feeling of pride. “I can do this. I’m doing this.”
Throughout, she continued to imagine herself, in the future, having accomplished what she set out to do.
This is leadership, and the power of intention.
Why this matters for you
You’re a woman with a lot on your plate; career, family, a to-do list that never ends. Rather than adding more to that already full life, this process creates space. It simplifies things.
It helps you stop firefighting and start leading.
You don’t need more willpower. You need a system that works with your brain, not against it.
Apply it to anything
This isn’t just about running. You can use this five-step process for:
Writing the difficult email
Presenting a big meeting
Building a Coaching business, whilst you’re working part-time
Having a conversation with your spouse that you’ve been avoiding
Your exercise routine
You decide. You prep. You fuel. You allow the urge to quit when your brain takes you there. You generate the feeling you want, on purpose, and imagine yourself in the future result of having accomplished what you set out to do.
Try it tomorrow, one thing
Pick one thing you want to do tomorrow. Something small but meaningful.
Then walk yourself through the five steps:
Decide what, when, and where.
Prep something now that makes it easier.
Fuel yourself with a good night’s sleep, water, protein, and one intentional thought.
Allow the resistance when it comes.
Generate the feeling you want to end the task with — and begin with that.
Leadership starts before breakfast
This five-step process doesn’t guarantee a perfect day. But it does give you your power back, before the world starts pulling on you. It’s how you move from scrambling to steady, and how you lead yourself first.
Book a free Discovery Call
Join me on a free Discovery Call, where I’ll walk you through my unique Life Audit process, designed to help you clearly see the gap between where you are now and where you want to be, and how to cross that gap. On the call I’ll show you the top three things I see that are causing the most problems and I’ll also tell you the solutions to overcome them. You’ll leave the call feeling calm and in control and ready to move forward, with a plan to overcome what’s been in your way.
This blog is inspired by the work I do with my clients during sessions, and brought to you in partnership with AI.
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