When “I Should Be Doing More” Is the Thought Holding You Back
When “I Should Be Doing More” Is the Thought Holding You Back | Jo Renshaw Life Coach, Brighton
Imagine this. You wake up feeling already behind. Your brain starts its daily checklist before your feet even hit the floor — exercise more, eat better, be calmer, do more for your family, perform better at work.
Sound familiar?
That constant thought “I should be doing more” feels helpful. Responsible. Even virtuous.
But here’s the truth: that thought is the reason you’re so exhausted.
It’s the thought that drives you to keep doing instead of being. To prove instead of rest. To push instead of pause.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that good women are productive women that rest must be earned, and self-care is indulgent. And yet, the more we listen to that old narrative, the more depleted we become.
The Hidden Weight of “I Should Be Doing More”
The thought “I should be doing more” often sounds like self-improvement. But it’s really self-judgment in disguise.
When you think it, your body tightens. You feel guilty, pressured, inadequate. You might rush to squeeze in one more task, multitask through dinner, or stay up scrolling for “motivation.”
It feels exhausting and counterproductive. Because from guilt, you don’t create focus. From pressure, you don’t create flow.
When you think “I should be doing more”, you don’t actually do more. You just feel worse.
Understanding How Your Thoughts Create Your Results
This is where The Model comes in. It’s the tool I teach all my clients to help them understand the link between thoughts, emotions, and results.
C → T → F → A → R
Circumstance → Thought → Feeling → Action → Result
Circumstances are neutral facts.
Example: “I worked eight hours today.”Thoughts are interpretations.
“I should have done more.”Feelings come from thoughts.
Guilt, frustration, inadequacy.Actions are driven by those feelings.
Overworking, avoiding, numbing out, snapping at loved ones.Results are what you end up creating.
You do less of what matters, reinforcing the belief that you’re not doing enough.
Jacqui’s Story
Jacqui is a midlife professional who’s brilliant at what she does. She cares deeply, works hard, and never stops thinking about how to do things better.
Last week, she completed every task on her list except one: she skipped her evening walk. Her thought? “I should be doing more.”
Let’s map it in The Model:
Circumstance: Evening walk scheduled.
Thought: “I should be doing more.”
Feeling: Defeated, guilty.
Action: Scrolled through her phone to unwind instead of resting intentionally. Skipped her walk
Result: She didn’t move her body, didn’t rest and recharge, and went to bed frustrated confirming the original thought that she “should have done more.”
This is how thoughts quietly drain our energy and create the very burnout we’re trying to escape.
How to Break the Cycle
Step 1 – Catch the thought
Start by noticing when “I should…” appears.
Is it motivating you or shaming you?
Awareness is always the first step. You can’t change what you can’t see. YOu must be onto your brain.
Step 2 – Question it with compassion
Ask:
“What if doing more isn’t the answer here?”
“What if rest is the most productive thing I could do today?”
“What if I’m already doing enough?”
You’ll be surprised how your body responds. Should-energy tightens your chest. Enough-energy softens it.
Step 3 – Choose an intentional thought
Try one of these reframes:
“I’m doing exactly what’s needed right now.”
“I can rest without guilt.”
“I trust myself to know when enough is enough.”
When you think these thoughts, you generate calm, grounded confidence and your actions naturally align. You make better choices for your health, your energy, and your focus.
The Empowered Alternative — “If Anyone Can, I Can”
When Jacqui replaced “I should be doing more” with “If anyone can, I can,” everything changed. That one sentence shifted her from pressure to possibility.
“I should…” focuses on what’s missing.
“If anyone can…” reminds you of your capability.
One thought drains energy. The other fuels it.
Try it for a week. Write “If anyone can, I can” on a Post-it or your phone screen.
See how your choices and your energy begin to change.
The Real Secret to Feeling Better
You don’t need to do more. You need to think differently.
When you stop measuring your worth by your productivity, you start living from sufficiency and that’s where calm energy comes from.
The more you have your own back, the more sustainable your success becomes.
Book a Discovery Call
If you’re tired of pushing yourself harder and still feeling behind, I can help you break that cycle.
Join me for a free one-hour Discovery Call. I’ll take you through my unique Life Audit process and show you the top five things we can work on to take you from self-doubt and self-criticism to calm, capable confidence.
You’ll walk away already feeling lighter and more in charge of your own results.
This blog is inspired by the work I do with my clients during sessions, and brought to you in partnership with AI.
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