Brighton Was My Coach: How I Reinvented Myself and What It Taught Me About Real Growth
How Brighton Helped Me Reinvent Myself | Jo Renshaw Coaching
How Reinventing Myself by the Sea Taught Me the Truth About Real Growth
Brighton Was My Coach: A Story of Reinvention
In 1999, I arrived in Brighton with a toddler on my hip, a suitcase in hand, and zero idea what I was doing. I was 24, a newly single Mum, broke, and in search of a fresh start.
I had no roadmap. No certainty. All I had was a desire to change my life.
Brighton, with its salty air and unapologetic weirdness, offered possibility. It didn’t demand perfection. It simply said, “You can begin again here.”
And I did. Again and again.
It would take me years, and several reinventions, to understand why some changes stuck and others didn’t. ON that journey I've learned how to grow through discomfort. Today I teach my clients how to do this too.
In this blog I’ll tell you my Brighton coaching story and how to reinvent yourself, using a real growth mindset. If you feel stuck in a self-help cycle this blog will help you with reinventing your life after failure. Not once, but over and over.
From Toddler Mum to Teacher: Surviving My First Chapter
The silent overwhelm of starting from scratch
I was a stay-at-home mum at first. After a dalliance with home education, (it was not for us!) I enrolled my daughter in the Steiner School kindergarten. I took my first job in a Cafe in Hove, shortly followed by becoming a kindergarten assistant. Then I trained as a Steiner-Waldorf class teacher, and became Class One teacher in 2006. Each step felt like progress.
My life looked like a success, sort of, but I was winging it. I was surviving, adapting, saying yes to whatever I could manage. I wasn’t choosing with clarity—I was reacting to whatever came my way. Whilst I was creatively fulfilled at work, I was broke, and stressed. I wanted solutions to my money problems, and to find a loving relationship.
Why reacting isn't the same as growing
That’s how a lot of personal development looks in the beginning. You do things, like move cities and change careers, hoping they'll change how you feel. You take action—but without understanding what’s driving that action.
When the Recession Hit—And Why It Led Me to University
Why personal development wasn’t working for me
Even though I had a career I loved, and well established personal development practices In 2009, with the UK in full recession I took redundancy from my teaching post at Brighton Steiner School. I was devastated, and no amount of journaling could solve for that. After a few months of panic, wondering 'What on earth am I going to do?" I enrolled at the University of Brighton to study photography.
This decision felt bold, exciting, and empowering.
The moment I realised something had to change
University was a blast, but behind the scenes I felt exhausted. Hustling to survive. I cleaned houses. Photographed weddings. Took office jobs. By 2013 it all came tumbling down and I filed for bankruptcy. I had a shiny new degree, but no work, no money, and a relationship that was less than ideal.
I tried everything to “fix” my life—books, planners, better routines, self-help groups with endless hours of reflection. I did what so many do: I chased personal development hoping it would save me.
But here’s what I wish I’d known then…
What’s Really Stopping Your Growth?
Back then, I thought growth meant adding more. Meditating. Journaling. Gratitude lists. Productivity hacks, and hours of baring my soul in group settings.
I didn't know how to break the patterns I was stuck in. The cycles of overwhelm, burnout, starting and stopping, beating myself up seemed endless.
So I did ALL the personal development. I read any new personal development book I could get my hands on and listened to podcasts. Everything I did came from a deep desire for reinvention. In my heart I believed that someday, something would work. On that day I'd feel better, have a happy relationship and be rich.
Sound familiar?
Meet the Motivational Triad
If you're anything like me you might be believing that you're broken, lazy and/or incapable of creating the change you want. It seems so obvious to "everyone" else, who already has their life sorted. So why not you? But none of this is true. You're not broken, or lazy, or incapable. Here's what is really going on. You have a Human Brain that’s designed to:
Avoid pain
Seek pleasure
Conserve energy
Meet the Motivational Triad, and it’s hardwired into us. It's kept our ancestors alive (so effectively that there are 8bn of us on the planet today)—but it sabotages modern self-growth. It helps us to survive, when what we want is to thrive.
How your brain works against your goals
Avoiding pain ➝ Delaying hard decisions (bankruptcy, anyone?)
Seeking pleasure ➝ Obsessive over consuming (food, alcohol, Netflix, shopping, personal Development) instead of delaying gratification and processing difficult emotions.
Conserving energy ➝ Quitting too soon when things felt hard, instead taking massive action
I’d try something, not get instant results, and assume I was the problem.
But I wasn’t. And neither are you.
A Three-Step Process That Finally Worked
When I engaged with Life Coaching, I finally understood why real growth had taken root in certain seasons of my life—and failed in others.
Here’s what made the difference:
1. Choose one method and stick to it
When I trained for marathons with Run Brighton on Brighton seafront, I didn’t run five different training plans. I followed one. Bad weather or not. I quit smoking and drinking to improve my performance.
Real growth needs focus. Pick one path. Stick with it. Never doubt it or change your mind thinking that there is a better way. The best way is the one that you actually do. Journaling, coaching, running, meal planning—it doesn’t matter what. Just choose and commit.
2. Take imperfect, consistent action
I didn’t wait to “feel ready.” I cleaned houses while building a creative portfolio. I went bankrupt and still showed up to build my freelance career as a Shoot Producer. I trained for four Marathons in the rain, snow, raging sun and howling gale. I went to many, many networking events to grow my new business.
Consistency matters more than perfection.
Take action. Let it be messy. Show up anyway.
3. Act on inspiration immediately
When the urge to apply for university came, I didn’t overthink it. When I felt the nudge to start coaching, I followed it. When the inspiration came to start my business I got on with it. When I met my future husband networking, I didn’t run away from the moment.
Clarity loves speed. The more you wait, weigh options, overthinking and second guessing, the more your brain will talk you out of it. The magic happens when you take action. Do this even when you feel afraid, have no confidence and are filled with doubt. Make it non-negotiable and you will see new results.
Negative Emotions Aren’t a Sign You’re Failing
The myth that growth should feel good
If you think personal development is meant to feel good all the time—you’ve been sold a myth.
Growth feels like doubt and fear, and sounds like "What if I’m getting this all wrong? What if I fall flat on my face and fail? In public?"
I bet you can't wait to begin now!
Why discomfort is the real signal of change
Negative emotions aren’t a problem to solve. They’re signs you’re growing.
The goal isn’t to feel better. The goal is to get better at feeling.
What Brighton Really Gave Me (And What It Can Give You Too)
Brighton gave me space to become. A backdrop for my breakdowns and breakthroughs. A reminder that starting over isn’t failure—it’s practice.
Every phase—motherhood, teaching, bankruptcy, business, love—wasn’t a detour. It was the path.
Each phase is the part of the sequence to become the next version of who we want to be.
And now, I help women walk their own.
Ready to Reinvent? Let’s Talk
You don’t need another book or a better morning routine. You need space, support, and the belief that reinvention is possible for you. Because if I can do it, anyone can.
Let’s talk.Subscribe to my weekly email for hot tips on actionable personal development, or book aDiscovery Call and let's talk about your next reinvention.
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From broke single mum to business owner—discover what Brighton taught me about reinvention, real growth, and the truth behind personal development.