What to Do When You Feel Lost
Feeling Lost in Life? Discover the First Step to Finding Direction | Jo Renshaw Life Coaching
When I was little, I’d sit beside my dad as he planned our family holidays using a big, printed road atlas. He’d begin at the destination, flick back to our home, and map out every page in between. I loved it. He didn’t just guess the way, he traced it out with curiosity, intention, and a highlighter pen.
I didn’t realise it at the time, but he was teaching me something more profound than navigation. He was showing me how to move from where you are… to where you want to be. I was learning how to find direction when I felt lost.
But what happens when you don’t know where you want to be, you want to regain clarity and confidence, and you’re feeling lost in life? When you’re not sure what you want, just that it’s not this?
That’s where I found myself a few years ago. And it’s where so many of my clients, women like Sarah, find themselves too.
They say things like:
“I don’t know what I want next. I just know I can’t stay here.”
“I should be able to figure this out on my own.”
“I’ve read the books, the podcasts, even a bit of therapy. Why am I still circling the same thoughts?”
If any of that feels familiar, you’re not alone. And there’s nothing wrong with you. Let’s start by looking at exactly where you are right now. In this week’s blog I’ll guide you through the steps to take in order to find direction, and arrive at the place you want to be in.
You’re Not Lost. You’re Here.
It might feel like you’re lost, but I promise you aren’t. You’re exactly where you are. That might sound obvious, or even frustrating but it’s good news. Because it means there’s a solid place to start from. Noticing what you don’t want anymore is the first sign that something new is ready to emerge. It's the moment the map gets opened on your lap.
But here’s the thing. If you stay focused on everything you don’t want, your brain will keep showing you proof of that. Why?
Because of something called your Reticular Activating System (RAS). (Learn more about the RAS here) It’s the part of your brain that filters the millions of bits of information you take in each day. It shows you what you’re focused on. So if you keep thinking “I hate this,” “I don’t know,” or “This isn’t working”, that’s exactly what your brain will reflect back to you.
To change your destination, you have to start thinking about a new one.
Begin With Curiosity, Not Clarity
Stephen Covey says “begin with the end in mind.” That’s helpful, if you know what the end looks like.
But if you’re not there yet, you can begin with something softer: curiosity.
Try asking:
“If I know I don’t want this… what might I want instead?”
“What do I miss?”
“Where do I feel most like myself?”
“What would I do if I did know the direction to go in?”
These questions don’t have to produce immediate answers. The idea here is to be curious and inquisitive. But they open a new page in the map book.
Make a Simple Plan (Just Like My Dad Did)
Once my Dad knew where we were going, he’d jot down the route in bullet points:
A47 eastbound
Roundabout, 3rd exit
Junction 14, turn right
He didn’t need to know every tiny detail. Just enough to get us started, moving in the right direction.
You can do the same with your own life.
Ask:
“What would feel like a first small step?”
“If I could name a direction, what would I call it. Determination? Commitment? Action?”
“Why does this matter to me?”
These answers give you something to move towards, not just something to escape from. Read more here about how to set goals that move you forwards
Step Four: Get Support for the Journey
Let me say something important: you don’t have to figure all this out on your own. I know you’re smart, capable, resourceful. You’ve done so much already. And it’s because of that, not in spite of it, that coaching works. This isn’t therapy, or vague feel-good advice. This is intentional self-leadership.
On a Discovery Call, I help you figure out where you are, where you want to be, and how to get there. We look at what’s getting in your way. We uncover the thought patterns and beliefs that are keeping you stuck. And we start to map out a path that feels like yours, not what you think you “should” want, or what someone else expects of you.
You’ll walk away with clarity, a new sense of direction, and an emotional roadmap that makes change feel possible again.
You can book a free Discovery Call session right here. It’s the first small step that gets you moving again.
Final Thought
If you feel lost right now, that’s OK.
You don’t have to wait for clarity of confidence to appear before you act. Clarity and confidence are what come from taking action, from asking better questions, from getting support, from deciding to trust yourself enough to take the first step.
You already have the map. You just need a hand unfolding it.
Let’s figure it out together.
This blog is inspired by the work I do with my clients during sessions, and brought to you in partnership with AI.
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