Why Money Problems Aren’t About Money
Why Money Is a Mirror for Your Mindset | Jo Renshaw Life Coach, Brighton
When money keeps you up at night, it’s not just about the numbers
“I live paycheck to paycheck. I have debts. I feel out of control. I feel like a failure compared to others. I question what the hell I’ve been doing with my life.”
That’s how one of my coaching clients described her relationship with money during her Discovery Call. If you’ve ever felt embarrassed about your finances, panicked about the future, or caught in a spiral of shame about your spending, you are not alone.
Most midlife women I coach don’t struggle with money because they don’t know how to budget. They struggle because of the way they think about money. It’s not about pounds and pence — it’s about self-worth. Our brains have linked money and self-worth, making financial confidence for women much harder than it needs to be. This blog will help you to unlink those two things.
The silent shame of being “bad with money”
We’re raised to believe that financial stability equals success. So when things feel unstable, when you’re dipping into your overdraft, paying off debt, relying on a partner’s income, it’s not just your bank balance that takes a hit. It’s your identity.
One client told me, “I’m embarrassed and scared for my long-term future. I wake up at night panicking and wanting to go away and hide.”
She wasn’t talking about her direct debit dates. She was talking about fear. Shame. Hopelessness. And comparison, always comparison:
“I feel like a failure in comparison to others.”
This kind of thinking creates a loop. You feel ashamed → so you avoid looking at your finances → which creates more chaos → which leads to more shame.
You can’t spreadsheet your way out of that cycle. You have to start with what you believe about yourself and your worth.
Money doesn’t create self-worth, but it will reveal it
Here’s what I want you to know:
💡 If your money story feels overwhelming, that’s not a reflection of your value. It’s a mirror of your thoughts.
You might think:
“I’m not responsible enough.”
“I should have sorted this out by now.”
“I’m never going to catch up.”
But what if none of that is true?
What if you’re not behind?
What if you’re just unpractised at thinking intentionally about money, and believing you deserve more?
One woman in her Life Audit said: “I’d like to feel in control and stable and not a failure. I’d like not to wake up at night panicking.”
That’s not a financial goal. That’s a mental health goal.
What you believe about money shapes what you do with it
Most people try to solve money problems by changing what they do:
Spend less. Save more. Make a spreadsheet.
But if the thoughts in your head still sound like:
“This will never get better.”
“It’s too late for me.”
“I’m just bad with money.”
…you’ll sabotage yourself every time. The real shift happens when you change what you believe:
I am capable of learning.
I’m allowed to take up space — financially and emotionally.
I’m already a success. (and go seek evidence for how this is already true)
Wanting more doesn’t make you greedy, it makes you human
So many women I work with say:
“I want to feel secure. I want to go on holiday. I want to stop worrying about money, but I feel guilty even wanting those things.”
Here’s the truth:
You’re allowed to want more.
You’re allowed to have financial goals without shame.
You’re allowed to build a future that feels stable, generous, and secure.
But you have to start by separating your net worth from your self-worth.
Final thought
This isn’t about having a six-figure salary or never making a financial mistake again.
This is about learning to see yourself differently, so that your actions with money come from belief, not fear.
If you’re tired of living pay check to pay check and feeling like a failure, I want to help you rewrite the story. You’re not stuck. You’re just starting.
✨ Ready to take your power back from your money story? Book a freeDiscovery Call. I’ll guide you through the Life Audit process and show you how to build real emotional and financial resilience, from the inside out.
This blog is inspired by the work I do with my clients during sessions, and brought to you in partnership with AI.
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