Coaching vs Therapy: What Makes My Coaching Different (And How to Know Which You Need)
Coaching vs Therapy: What’s the Difference? | Jo Renshaw Life Coach, Brighton
I wasn’t broken - but I thought I was
Many of the women who come to me are coping with life. They’re functioning; holding down jobs, raising children, showing up for other people.
And yet life feels heavy.
They overthink, feel overwhelmed by things that should feel manageable, and lie awake at night replaying conversations, worrying about money, doubting themselves. When something feels challenging, their nervous system goes into overdrive and they wonder, Why does this feel so hard for me?
Often there’s a deeper thought underneath it all:
There must be something wrong with me.
If you’ve ever had that thought, especially after doing “all the work”, this blog is for you. We’ll explore the difference between coaching and therapy, and by the end you’ll have the answer to your question “do I need coaching or therapy?”
Therapy matters and it has its place
Let me say this clearly and early: therapy is valuable.
Therapy saves lives. It provides safety, compassion, and understanding, and it plays an essential role in supporting people through trauma, grief, depression, anxiety disorders, and times of crisis.
Many of my clients are in therapy, have been in therapy, or return to therapy alongside coaching. This is not an either/or conversation, and it was never meant to be.
What I do see, again and again, particularly with high-functioning, self-aware women, is a specific gap. Understanding why you feel the way you do doesn’t always change how you show up in your life.
You can know your history and understand your patterns, and still freeze under pressure. You can have insight and still not trust yourself when it matters.
That’s where coaching comes in.
The gap many high-functioning women fall into
The women I coach are not unaware, emotionally unintelligent, or resistant to growth. Quite the opposite.
In fact, many of them can explain exactly where their patterns came from, have read the books, done the therapy, and are deeply reflective.
And yet they still spiral when things feel uncertain, avoid tasks that feel emotionally uncomfortable, prioritise everyone else’s needs over their own, and doubt themselves under pressure.
Awareness alone isn’t translating into self-trust.
This is not a personal failing. It’s a missing practice layer.
How coaching and therapy are different
Coaching is present-focused, not past-focused
Therapy is past focussed. It asks questions like Why am I like this? or Where did this come from? Those questions matter, and they can be deeply healing, especially if you’ve never explored these questions in a professional setting. Coaching works primarily in the present moment. It asks a different question: What do you want your life to look and feel like? What are you thinking right now and what results is it creating in your life?
In coaching, the past is acknowledged, but we don’t stay there. We use it to understand patterns, not to relive or analyse them. The focus is on what’s happening now, because measurable change happens in the present, in how you think, feel, and respond today.
Coaching teaches emotional responsibility
Many people unconsciously live from the belief that once this situation changes, I’ll feel better. Coaching gently but firmly turns that belief around. You begin to see that your emotional experience is created internally, not handed to you by circumstances or other people.
Emotions are not treated as problems to be eliminated. Avoiding discomfort is what creates suffering. This work isn’t about bypassing emotions or thinking positively. It’s about learning how to feel emotions fully without being taken out by them.
Coaching is skills-based, not insight-based
In coaching, we don’t spend much time talking about confidence. We build it through behaviour. The focus is on developing practical, repeatable skills that can be used in everyday life, especially when things feel challenging.
These include separating facts from thoughts, regulating your nervous system under pressure, interrupting mental spirals in real time, making decisions without overthinking, and following through without self-punishment. Confidence isn’t a personality trait — it’s the natural by-product of trusting yourself in action.
Coaching assumes capability
Therapy often meets people at their most vulnerable and rightly so. Coaching meets people who are capable, intelligent, and functioning, but who aren’t progressing in their lives in a way that they want to due to self doubt.
In my coaching, you are treated as intelligent and responsible. You are not rescued or fixed. You are supported to lead yourself. We begin from the assumption that nothing has gone wrong. We acknowledge that your nervous system simply learned strategies that once helped you cope and now need updating.
An example from my coaching work
One woman I worked with believed, deeply, that something was wrong with her.
When life felt challenging, she spiralled. She avoided tasks that felt overwhelming. She over-functioned for others and ignored herself. She felt ashamed that she couldn’t “just cope.”
She wasn’t lazy. She wasn’t broken. She was stuck in a loop she didn’t know how to interrupt.
Through coaching, she learned how her thoughts created her emotional experience and how to work with that rather than fight it. The feeling of calm stopped being something she waited for and became something she could access. Confidence grew not from reassurance, but from practice.
Her life didn’t become perfect. But she stopped collapsing under the weight of it.
What coaching is
Coaching is a structured, forward‑focused process that helps you understand how your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours are shaping your experience of life and then teaches you how to work with them deliberately.
It is a practical training ground for building self‑trust, emotional regulation, and personal responsibility. Coaching helps you learn how to stay present with discomfort, make decisions without spiralling, and follow through on what matters to you, even when life feels challenging.
Rather than analysing your past or diagnosing problems, coaching focuses on how you relate to yourself now and how to strengthen that relationship so you can meet life with more calm, clarity, and confidence.
What coaching is not
Coaching is not therapy. It is not trauma processing, crisis support, or advice‑giving.
If someone is processing trauma, grief, or is in acute distress, coaching is not the right container and I will always refer appropriately.
Who my coaching is for (and who it isn’t)
My coaching is for you if:
My coaching is designed for women who are capable and high‑acheiving on the outside, but who feel overwhelmed, stuck, or depleted on the inside. You understand yourself and your patterns, but you don’t fully trust yourself yet, especially when things feel uncertain or uncomfortable. You’re ready to take responsibility for your inner world and you’re willing to feel some discomfort in order to build genuine self‑trust, rather than staying stuck in avoidance or self‑criticism.
My coaching is not for you if:
My coaching won’t be the right fit if you’re looking to be fixed, rescued, or carried through change by someone else. It’s also not designed for staying in the story of why things are the way they are without moving forward. And if you’re currently experiencing acute mental health distress or need clinical mental health support, coaching isn’t the right container and I’ll always encourage appropriate therapeutic support instead.
The reframe most women need to hear
More insight isn’t the answer, and neither is fixing yourself or becoming someone else entirely. What actually creates change are practical tools, like The Model, deliberate practice, and a different relationship with yourself, one built on trust rather than self-criticism. That’s what coaching offers.
Call to Action
If you’re wondering whether coaching or therapy is right for you or how they might work together you’re welcome to book a Connection call. We’ll talk honestly, ethically, and without pressure.
This blog is inspired by the work I do with my clients during sessions, and brought to you in partnership with AI.
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