How to Stop Feeling Stuck at Work: The Thought That’s Draining You and What to Do About It
How to Stop Feeling Stuck at Work | Jo Renshaw Life Coach
Have you ever felt like you’re in a job you fought hard to get—and suddenly, it’s draining the life out of you? You find yourself in constant tension, replaying conversations, second-guessing decisions, and secretly fantasising about quitting just to feel relief. You tell yourself, "This shouldn't be happening."
In this blog, I'm going to show you exactly why that thought is at the root of your stress and how it quietly sabotages your energy, confidence, and leadership. You'll learn what resistance really is, why it's so heavy to carry, and how to begin letting go without giving up. I'll also teach you a powerful coaching tool to change the way you experience hard things—so you can lead with clarity and intention again.
What Resistance Looks Like When You're Feeling Stuck at Work
Resistance isn’t loud. It’s not obvious. Most of the time, it’s a quiet, persistent hum in the background of our day. It sounds like this:
“This isn’t how it’s meant to be.”
“They’re wasting my time.”
“I’ve lost my confidence.”
“I can’t do this anymore.”
That was where Rebecca found herself. She was a program manager in an organisation she deeply believed in, yet every meeting, every interaction, felt like an uphill battle.
“I feel like I’m fighting some battle. I gear myself up before every call and try to be jolly, but it’s very tiring because it’s not authentic.”
She wasn’t being undermined by a single colleague—she was stuck in a pattern of resisting the entire situation. And it was exhausting.
Why Resisting Reality Drains Confidence and Energy
Here’s what most of us never get taught: suffering doesn’t come from our circumstances. It comes from our thoughts about those circumstances. Rebecca wasn’t just navigating a messy team dynamic or an unclear reporting structure. She was fighting it. Her core thought?
“This shouldn’t be happening.”
And it was that thought—more than anything external—that created the feeling of oppression, tension, and emotional fatigue.
Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is, puts it this way:
“When you argue with reality, you lose—but only 100% of the time.”
That’s what resistance is: arguing with reality. We think we’re staying strong, but we’re actually leaking energy trying to control what already is. Resistance is a second layer of pain—heavier than the situation itself.
What the Fight Looked Like
Let’s look at what this resistance cost Rebecca:
She resisted her emotions, which made them stronger.
She judged herself harshly.
She considered quitting.
She performed instead of leading.
Mondays became unbearable.
“I keep pushing against it until the weekend and then I forget about it. Every time I do a call, I gear myself up and try to be really positive… but it’s not authentic.”
A Coaching Model That Shows Why You Feel So Overwhelmed
In our session, I introduced Rebecca to The Model—a powerful framework we use in coaching to understand how our thoughts create our experience.
CTFAR explained step-by-step
Circumstance: Her job, contractor dynamics, and conversations with her boss
Thought: “This shouldn’t be happening.”
Feeling: Oppressed, under threat.
Actions: Fake positivity, self-judgment, people-pleasing, withdrawal, considering quitting.
Result: Reinforces her belief that something’s wrong and “it shouldn’t be happening.”
When you believe the thought "This shouldn't be happening," your brain finds all the evidence to prove you're right.
How to Start Letting Go of Work Stress Without Giving Up
That was Rebecca’s coaching homework:
"What would it be like if I didn’t resist this?"
Not to fix it. Not to say it’s okay. Just to drop the fight. And in her next meeting with her boss, something shifted. Instead of gearing up, she got honest. “I want this program to succeed. I know that’s what you need, and I want to help you. But I’m struggling.”
She showed up with calm clarity, and in return? Her boss met her with respect and understanding. The situation didn’t magically change—but her energy did. That’s what happens when we stop resisting and start responding.
Simple Mindset Journal Prompts for Women Feeling Stuck at Work
Think of one situation in your life right now that feels heavy or hard.
Ask yourself:
What are the facts?
What is the thought you’re believing about those facts?
How does that thought make you feel?
What do you do when you feel that way?
What might change if you dropped the fight?
This isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about taking your power back from a thought that isn’t serving you.
Recap: How to Stop Feeling Stuck and Lead with Confidence
Resistance is the quiet saboteur of your energy and clarity.
The thought "This shouldn’t be happening" keeps you stuck in emotional battle.
Your feelings come from your thoughts—not the world around you.
Dropping resistance doesn’t mean giving up. It means showing up differently.
When you shift your thinking, you shift your experience. That’s not just mindset work. That’s leadership.
Download the Free Guide to The Model to Reclaim Your Power at Work
If this post hit home, I’d love to offer you my free guide to The Model—the tool I used with Rebecca that helped her go from overwhelmed to grounded.
It’s simple, powerful, and it works. And it can help you start showing up with clarity, strength, and self-trust, no matter what you’re facing.
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